Honey or Vinegar

So, what’s on my mind?

It seems to be that time of year when those pesky little fruit flies start to show up, which reminds me of the common saying, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” Well, someone forgot to tell the company I ordered fly traps from, because one of the main ingredients is vinegar.

Apparently, the secret to catching fruit flies is not honey after all. It’s vinegar. As I watched those little flies gathering around the trap, I started thinking about how often we use that saying to describe people. We all know what it means: kindness and gentleness tend to be more effective at drawing people in than anger, harshness, or criticism.

So, what are we attracting? That may be a good question for us as Christians and, especially, for us as a church. The apostle Paul gives us some interesting advice in Colossians 4:6. He writes, “Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt. That way you’ll know how you should respond to each person.”

Paul doesn’t say that we have to agree with everyone, or that we should avoid difficult conversations, or pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t. But he does tell us that the way we speak to one another matters. Our words can draw people closer or push them away. Our attitudes can make people feel welcome or make them feel like they don’t belong. Our churches can become places where people encounter the grace of God, or places where people encounter something that looks very little like grace. And this isn’t just about the words we use inside the church. It is about the way we live our lives everywhere we go.

When someone encounters us at the grocery store, at work, in our neighborhood, online, or here at church, what do they encounter? Do they encounter patience? Kindness? Grace? Or do they encounter vinegar?

And it’s worth remembering as we think about the future of our church. We want to grow. We want to reach new people. We want younger generations and young families to discover a place where they can belong. We want people who haven’t been part of a church in years, or maybe ever, to walk through our doors.

May our lives, and our church, be places where people encounter something that looks, sounds, and feels like the grace of Jesus Christ. And if we do that, perhaps people won’t simply be attracted to our church. Perhaps they’ll be attracted to Jesus.

May God hold you,
Rev Chris Hester