Elbows & Mandates

This past week, around our dinner table, we ended up talking about table manners—specifically the old rule that you’re not supposed to put your elbows on the table. Naturally, the question came up: Why not?

Like so many rules that get passed down, the answer wasn’t immediately clear. Was it about etiquette? Cleanliness? Elbow-related hazards? The best explanation we could find had to do with history: in crowded medieval halls, where tables were narrower and seating tighter, elbows on the table could quite literally cause a spill—or a toppled goblet into your neighbor’s lap. So, the rule wasn’t just about manners. It was about consideration. Making space. Being mindful that you’re sharing the table.

That conversation stuck with me, especially as we come into Holy Week and approach Maundy Thursday. It’s the night we remember Jesus at the table with his disciples, sharing a final meal. A night of bread, wine, feet washed, and a new commandment given.

The word Maundy comes from the Latin mandatum—meaning command or mandate. “A new commandment I give you,” Jesus said, “that you love one another as I have loved you.” Not just a suggestion. Not just good manners. A mandate from the One who knelt and washed feet.

Jesus’ table wasn’t about perfect etiquette or tidy appearances. It was about radical welcome, deep humility, and shared love. Maybe the best table manners for Maundy Thursday aren’t about elbows, but about making room. Making room for grace. Making room for others. Making room for Jesus.

This Holy Week, may we sit at that table with open hearts, ready to serve, ready to receive, and ready to live out the mandate of love.

May God hold you,

Rev Chris Hester